Perspective

Today I did two pull-ups on my kid’s overpriced Rainbow swing set. I dangled from the bright yellow bars, pulled up with all my strength—and miraculously, I lifted my chin (amongst my screams of, “Witnesses…. I NEED A WITNESS HERE!”) over my hands. I was thrilled, and immediately dropped to do the victory booty dance with my 5 yr old (she will do the booty dance for just about anything, and I am positive that she wasn’t the least bit interested in my new found bicep-super-power). I, on the other hand, was over-the-top excited. You see, in 1998, during one spring-break-gone-bad, I had a bit of a skiing accident and shattered my shoulder into about a bajillion pieces. Obviously, it has never been the same since, and it seemed that no matter how strong I became, or how much I lifted… I could never manage to do a pull up. Over the years, I kind of accepted that I would never be able to do THAT one aspect of physical fitness…. and frankly, never really cared… until 6 months ago, when I hired a personal trainer. I told him that I wanted to be able to do a pull up (AND out-plank any man who dared challenge me), and we started seriously working on it. Over the past 6 months, I flipped tires, lifted weights, probably did AT LEAST ten thousand pushups, and lifted more heavy objects then I thought was humanly possible. Six months later--amongst much popping and creaking noises in my damaged shoulder—I hoisted my chin above that bar. Success!

Was my arm suddenly healed? Nope. Does it still give me pain if I bump it against the refrigerator door (which seems to happen EVERY Monday morning)? Yes. Will it ever be like the pre-ski-jump shoulder of 1998? Nope. But that’s ok—sometimes being victorious has nothing to do with trying to surpass your all-time-best. The past is the past—and until Michael J. Fox shows up with his Delorian on my driveway, there is no hope that I could ever erase that accident. But what I can do—what we all should do—is realize that success is all about perspective. Yes, I could have had the ability to lift Volvos if I hadn’t gone off that ski jump in Killington, Vermont, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t celebrate the fact that I just displayed epic strength with a shoulder that is held together with pins and screws. Heck, if I have learned anything from being an Army Wife it is this: Sometimes you have to win a few battles before you can the win war. And I refuse to lose the war. Failure just isn’t in my vocabulary.

Two weeks ago, my husband returned home from that war. My inbox, facebook, and phone were filled with well wishes, and everyone was waiting for the romantic story of the reunion of the century. The Lifetime Channel (which frankly, should be banned from all female viewers) loves to display homecomings as this honeymoon where the soldier walks into the kitchen , everyone squeals in surprise (but ironically has hair and makeup perfect), and they hop right back into their pre-deployment life. But that’s the point I am trying to make here- you can never go backwards in life— you can’t pretend that a deployment never happened and you can’t bottle up all the emotions that a year of separation, worry, war, and a foreign country has left swimming around your soul. But what you can do is face them head on. Tackle those issues, find strength in your weaknesses, and celebrate the small victories of life. All it takes, is a little change of perspective, a deep breath, and a never-going-to-quit attitude. And I have that. Piece of cake. Heck, by next week I will be doing three pull ups--- the only difference is Jim will be swinging from the bar next to me. (And for those who are wondering…. I am 100% positive I could out plank him in a heart beat).

(Total bad ass, right??)