Obstacles

It’s been a few weeks since I have written, and life seems to have sort of exploded. Semester two of grad school is in full swing, I am in the middle of my first internship working with victims of domestic violence, coaching for the American Cancer Society, hoping to land a graduate research position, and debating applying for my phD in the fall. I am completely obsessed with Crossfit, spend all my paychecks on shoes (wait until you see the pair I got for next weekend’s gala!), and I still live life as a geographic single mom rushing the kids from activity to activity. I workout, work, go to class, go to soccer practice, and totally high five myself when I manage to have a day where I shower AND feed the kids something that didn’t come from the freezer. Of course…. those are the normal aspects of my life: kids, work, school, frozen pizza…

But there are also those issues that I don’t like to mention....like the fact that I am writing this entry from a hospital while receiving IV meds into my arm. Now, for those who know me (or follow my blog as they should) you probably know that I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease last year. Jim was in Iraq, and I totally viewed the disease as something that I could conquer. A few diet changes, cut back on the martinis, strict workout regime, a war ending in Iraq….and Bam! I would be miraculously healed (cue the harps and trumpets).

Ummm Yeah….. that didn’t work out so well. I gave up gluten, I exercised like Jane Fonda on crack, I tried to get at least 5.5 hours of sleep each night, but my symptoms kept getting worse. For the first time in my life, I was losing ground. I was tired. I was in pain. I was emotionally sinking-- faster than Lindsey Lohan after her third DUI. And I was forced to make a decision: continue down the current path or start using the hardcore drugs—even if those drugs have some heinous side effects. To be honest, both options scared the hell out of me and after a long five hour pity party (thank you Monica for listening to me rant) I finally stood up, stared myself down in the bathroom mirror, and got ready to fight.

So here I am. Receiving an IV drip of meds in my arm for the next two hours, getting hugs from the nursing staff (even though I drove straight to the hospital from Crossfit and I probably smell like a farm animal), and saying a silent prayer that it will work. Yes, some things in life have changed: I have to come every six weeks for the infusions, I will forever be immuno-compromised, and I will probably never be able to secure a sweet deal on life insurance ever again. But really….who gives a crap? I am still me. Tomorrow, I will wake up and go to work; I still plan to go for my phD; and I am running the Marine Corp Marathon next October in order to qualify for Boston. Life may not be perfect, but it isn’t exactly all bad either. Sometimes you need to encounter a few obstacles along the way to appreciate the blessings in your life—after all, it makes the sweet flavor of success taste that much better. (Just please God… I would consider it a personal favor if success didn’t taste anything like frozen pizza…)

(See, I wasnt kidding about the sweaty workout clothes...)