Break time

This morning I was sitting in traffic cursing the existence of I-35. You see, some vehicle, about five cars up from me, decided to do only 45 in the fast lane during rush hour, and the consequent back up extended for miles . I came to two conclusions as I sat there going nowhere fast: 1. People who drive under the speed limit are probably the very same people that never get invited to parties. 2. I have a bit of a temper.

The good thing about sitting in traffic for over 45 minutes is this: you are forced to think about things you may have been putting off for a while—even if you are suffering from an acute case of road rage. Yes, traffic would have been a hell of a lot easier to deal with if I had a cup of Starbucks sitting next to me in the cup holder… but then again caffeine would have only served to fuel my already soaring blood pressure (not to mention this weird throbbing vein that had suddenly appeared on my forehead).

Anyway, as I sat there, I decided that this morning would be a good time to reflect on all of the changes that had blown up my world over the past four months. For those that follow my blog, you are all aware that I finally decided to go back to school. It was a hard choice—one that impacted my family in every possible way. I am no longer home during the evenings, and I seem to spend every waking moment writing papers (and then bitching about them to friends). I am dependant on neighbors to carpool to my kiddo’s sporting events, and brace yourself for this one…. I am only able to catch a happy hour about once a month (**gasp**).

The crazy part of this journey is that life seemed to go from a rollercoaster to a tilt-a-whirl. Yes, I am still struggling to get everything done, but I am also trying desperately to find some sort of balance. Running has become more of a chore then a release. Work has become all about a pay check, and life has suddenly become measurable in hours, not experiences. Somehow, the race of the purpose-driven life has left me exhausted, cranky, and in need of a maid.

So, as I sat there breathing in the recycled fumes from the dirty diesel truck parked in front of me, I made a mental list of all I wanted to accomplish this Christmas break. Things like, take my kids to Sea World, actually bake (sugar-free, non-butter) Christmas cookies for Santa, finish up that manuscript I have been working on for the past two years, and finally have time to take the inner city “high risk for obesity” youth for a run. I promised myself that I would sleep in at least twice over the two week break, send three care packages to soldiers in Afghanistan, watch at least one movie that does not involve cartoons, wizards, or sparkly vampires, and hop on the back of a horse -close my eyes and just let it run.

You see, life has a way of manipulating our souls—even when we are desperately driven to reach our dreams. The world can become mundane, our priorities can get lost in the rat race, and we can take the people we love for granted--only because we are so caught up in crossing items off our to-do list. But I am here today to encourage you to remember that living is more than just existing. Reaching your goals is fantastic. Completing marathons is motivating. Looking better than a 22 year old in a bikini is freaking awesome. But, so is spending a night curled up in bed with your family watching Elf for the 900th time. Remember to breathe. Remember to live. Remember that a “break” does not mean you have to stop accomplishing things….. but rather that you finally find time to start accomplishing things that feed your soul.

(Note: Martinis may not be soul food.... but I am a 100% positive they are soul appetizers.)