For those of you who are familiar with my writing, you are probably aware that my usual blog starts off with me telling a crazy story—some ultimate tale of insanity where everything goes wrong, I stress out, spaz, and usually end up calling in a repair man to undo whatever-the-hell I did in the first place. But this week, I am changing it up—because suddenly and without warning—everything is lined up exactly the way I wanted . I can honestly say, things went…. brace yourself for this…. really well this week. I can only think of two possible scenarios as to why I, Amy Kemter, the world’s most unlucky person on the planet, is receiving good news: 1. Karma must be on vacation or 2. The world is about to end, and we are all going to die. Either way…. I am still smiling.
So I know you’re wondering… what’s the news? To begin with, I was accepted to grad school. Now, if anyone knew me back in my college years, this should come as no surprise. I have always been the closet smart girl. Academics –first; everything else-- second. I graduated top of my class from Penn State’s Honors program, and had my pick of graduate schools. The world dared me to make a difference, but I was too young, impulsive (ok, I never really grew out of that one), and in love with a cadet from West Point to meet the challenge head on. I graduated from PSU on a Friday, had a full blown military wedding on Sunday, and flew half way across the country on Monday to start my career as Amy the Army Wife. Graduate school still whispered and beckoned in my ear, but over the years I learned to ignore it. I turned my cheek whenever I met up with old college friends, and pretended to laugh every time I heard the question, “ So, you mean you didn’t go to medical school?”
The honest answer frustrated and irritated me, and I would usually find myself counting to ten (in about 50 different dialects) so I wouldn’t snap back the obvious, “No. I could never start and finish a program during one duty assignment.” I started teaching music, and for the past ten years, I have been having babies and moving from state to state (6 to be exact). Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I regret any decision… but what I am saying is that I could only cage my dreams for so long until the animal inside awoke. The goals I created at the young age of twenty-two were still calling out to me, and I finally decided it was time to follow where they led.
The crazy part of this whole equation for the purpose-filled-life, is that it took a twelve month deployment to serve as the catalyst for change—and for that, I am actually grateful. If my husband were still here in the states, it would have probably taken me another two or three years before I found the courage to close my eyes and leap. But he’s not here, and his absence has forced me to accept the fact that his career path will always take him away from us, and there is nothing I can do to protect him or guarantee myself that he will even come home to us. I gave up everything to be with a man—and my greatest fear was that in the end it wouldn’t matter. If I lost Jim, I would lose everything that remained of that strong-willed twenty-two year old that chose a life of service over money, and I knew I there was no way—in my current path—I could ever recover from that.
So for once, I told my husband, “It’s my turn. I need this.”, and he managed to hear me—even being 7000 miles away. Graduate school meant more time apart, and more stress on our already taxed marriage, but it also meant that the person I lost along the way—the person my husband met and fell head over heels for—was on her way home. Jim took a deep breath, paused for a few moments and quietly responded, “I know you do. Go get it Amy.”
So, on August 24th, I start my masters program at the University of Texas. My husband will still be in Iraq when I walk into the school hall for the first time in a decade, but I know he will be right there beside me whispering “Go get it Amy. This one is all you.” And I will—because sometimes it takes a fear of losing everything to realize that you only get one chance at life, but if you do it right, once is enough. Dreams can only turn into reality if you allow yourself to wake up, and lucky for me, I have learned to become an early riser. Heck, sometimes the secret to happiness is merely remembering what it is you wanted all along… and simply going for it.
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