About two months ago, I made a bold and daring facebook post that may have altered the universe as we know it. After a particularly bad day (even by geographical single mom standards), I posted that ‘Karma is a fat lady out to get all the skinny bitches on the planet’. That mistake was HUGE, and within twenty-four hours I had managed to lose my phone, have the crappiest run of my life, and one of my kids came down with a stomach virus—right smack in the middle of the family room carpet. Yes, Lady Luck had decided to work against me, and I was a helpless victim against an enraged (and obviously fat) Fate.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t put a lot of weight into luck—mainly because I have never been one of the “lucky” few. I am the person who finds a rattle snake beneath her kitchen window, has had a lizard crawl up her pants, and accidentally flashed the UPS man when my towel got stuck in the door. I got knocked up in Vegas, broke my shoulder over spring break, and accidentally adopted a feral dog. But all of THIS was finally about to change… because on the day after St. Paddy’s Day (2011) my daughter found a patch of 4-leaf clovers in the backyard. A rare event by anyone’s standards—even more monumental due to the fact that I pay Trugreen $67 every six weeks to keep my yard weed free (obviously I am over paying them).
Anyway, I promised myself that I would buy a lottery ticket (something I NEVER do unless I am sending packages to soldiers overseas), and set out to meet some friends for dinner. But as all things luck-related usually work for me, I forgot about the clover, had a grande martini, and woke up the next morning with a headache and a blinking answering machine… apparently Lady Luck didn’t have my cell number. I chose to ignore the answering machine-- everyone important knows to call me on my blackberry-- and I continued on with my day. But one can’t ignore Fate for very long…. she is one persistent biatch, especially when she has diabolical plans to rock your world. So what did she present me with??? Brace yourself for this awesomeness (drum roll please)….. I won a goat. As crazy as it seems—and trust me, I am an army wife so I know crazy-- I actually won a raffle for a GOAT (and not one of those cute little ones that you can brush at the zoo, but a big, hungry, horned goat. ) Once again, I was the butt of some colossal cosmic joke.
Now, life is never exactly what you plan, and although city girls should probably never own farm animals, I have decided to embrace my new goat ownership status. I have named him Karma, and I totally plan to get this goat FAT in her honor. My new hideously ugly pet reminds me daily that luck comes in all shapes and forms, and is never predictable but rather earned. It is this kind of simple joy, of finding humor in the most ridiculous of situations, that keeps me placing one foot in front of the other every morning. It would be so easy for me to curl up in a ball, and shut out the pain that the army has brought us. But it is those moments in life where you find yourself calling your best friend and laughing until tears stream down your face that you realize that there is a method to the madness of the universe. My children may already understand the definition of sacrifice, but they also believe wholeheartedly that love can conquer all—even fate. Last Saturday, Fate presented me with exactly what I needed: joy, laughter, and the reminder that life can be painful and confusing but also overflowing with joy. The miracle has nothing to do with winning a prize, but rather getting to the finish the line with your heart still intact.
So to those who are wondering what my furry friend, Karma’s, fate will be. I will tell you this: Karma will most likely be living on my parent’s ranch, but will make a very important journey to San Antonio for the next Army-Navy game. To those who are local, you are welcome to come to one Hell of a party. Beer, martinis, and cabrito asado will be served.
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